Asking for a cash gift for a wedding.

You wrote:

Dear Sue.

we are getting married in April here in Kenya. as we already have a house and all that goes with it. how do i ask for cash gift rather than something that we already have. as English is not my first language i am struggling with something fun and nice to say… i don’t want to just say give us cash…

please could you help me with this….

kind regards

Petra

Dear Petra:

First, congratulations on your upcoming marriage!  What an exciting time for you.

It’s a pleasure to receive a note from someone in Africa.  I’ve always felt some kind of connection with the continent.  Kenya has always been on my list of “Places to visit in my life” and I do hope to get there one day.

My website is a work in progress and I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten to the “Gifts” section of the site for you yet (Click “Receptions” and you will see that there’s a space for it, but the information isn’t there yet.  It’s coming soon.)

Your concern is a common one.  So often now, couples are starting their lives together before marriage and the traditional wedding gifts are just not needed by the bride and groom.

You’re right  –  just saying “Give us money” to your guests just doesn’t seem very nice, does it?  But there are other ways to get the message to your guests that a cash gift is the one that would be the most appreciated.

Let’s take Bill and Lisa, for example.  They are already living in their own home and have all they need for it.  They know that they will be buying a bigger house in a few years and hope to buy a new dining room set when they move, but they just don’t have room for a big set now.

Their invitations could have a section that reads:

“Our present home is full of everything that we need to start our married lives, but we are planning for our future together.  Monetary gifts toward the future purchase of a new dining room set would be greatly appreciated by both of us.”  At their reception, Bill and Lisa could even have a box (decorated with a picture of a dining room set) available to receive their cards and monetary gifts.

Let’s look at Rick and Kate’s invitations.  They too have already purchased a house and would rather have guests help pay for their honeymoon in Jamaica instead.  Their invitation might read:

“Rick and Kate are planning to honeymoon in Jamaica.  If you’d like your wedding gift to them to be a contribution toward their honeymoon, please send a cheque before February 1, 2010 to:

  • Far Away Travel
  • 000 Bay Street W.
  • City, State
  • zip

(Please make sure that “Rick and Kate Smith’s Honeymoon Fund, Far Away Travel account # xxx” is written on your cheque.)”

Of course, Rick and Kate would have to make arrangements with Far Away Travel to have cheques sent in their name put toward the cost of their trip.

I personally think that if you tell people that you are saving to buy a particular  large item, they will be more than happy to give cash.  Guests like to know what to give the bride and groom to make them happy, and if you’re explicit on your invitations, your guests don’t have to guess;  they just have to follow instructions!

Another example can be found in my website.  At the nav bar, go to “Invitations”  and look at the example labelled “Wedding Number 2” about Matt and Maria’s wedding.  They opt to do something special about gifts too and there’s an example of their invitation, including what they want guests to do about gifts, here.

A fun way of stating your wishes might be to write a little poem at the bottom of your invitation that tells your guests what to do.  I’m no poet, but here’s a crazy example to show you what I mean:

“Petra and ______ are getting hitched.

Their house is full.  They need no wrapped gift.

They’re dreaming of buying a car that’s new.

Wedding gifts of money could help make this dream come true.”

I hope this helps.  If you need more specific help, please send me a little more information about what you might want to use your cash gifts for and I’ll do the best I can.

Please do keep me posted on your wedding plans.  I know very little about weddings in Kenya and would love to know all about your plans for the day.

Regards,

~Sue

http://www.wedding-rings-dresses-etc.com

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“I do” in an underwater hotel.

Now this is something.

I’ve heard about folks getting married while scuba diving, or at the bottom of a swimming pool. Yet until today, I hadn’t heard about the underwater hotel wedding, complete with notary public to officiate, personal chef for dinner and breakfast, and whe sea life of the Florida Keys visible through the huge circular windows as backdrop.

Jules’ Underwater Lodge is the name of the “hotel”.

Check this out from their wedding page:

“For couples looking for a truly different way to start their married life, Jules’ Undersea Lodge offers all of the romance and adventure of an underwater wedding combined with the comfort and convenience of a dry setting. Featured on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” and other major television programs worldwide, the hotel is the first and only in the world to offer weddings and honeymoons at five fathoms! Guests scuba dive to enter the hotel, which has a wet room entrance area, two bedrooms and a common room ,which is a combination living room, dining area and kitchen.

The Ultimate Romantic Get-a-way

Underwater Wedding and Honeymoon Package

Weddings in Jules’ Underwater Lodge provide exclusive use of the Lodge for an intimate setting for both the wedding and honeymoon. Check-in time is at 1:00 pm, and check-out time is at 10:00 am. The couple earn their Aquanaut Certificates and qualify for an optional Underwater Habitat/Aquanaut specialty rating. Extended underwater honeymoons in the hotel are available.

Upon arrival to the world’s only underwater hotel, the wedding couple is greeted by romantic music and fresh flowers in every room. The ceremony is usually conducted at 3:00 pm by a notary public, who dives down for the nuptial service. A toast and the cutting of the cake follow the ceremony. Dinner offers a caviar appetizer, a choice of lobster or steak, a hearts of palm salad and dessert. The hotel “mer-chef” scuba dives to the hotel to prepare the meal and serve the newlyweds. The chef also prepares breakfast the following morning.

The total cost of the package, with the services of the notary public, flowers and a small wedding cake is $1,750.00 plus tax. (2009 pricing) There is an additional charge of $100.00 per person for extra guests attending the ceremony.

Does this sound of interest for your wedding? Visit Jules Underwater Lodge website for more information.

For couples looking for a truly different way to start their married life, Jules’ Undersea Lodge offers all of the romance and adventure of an underwater wedding combined with the comfort and convenience of a dry setting. Featured on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” and other major television programs worldwide, the hotel is the first and only in the world to offer weddings and honeymoons at five fathoms! Guests scuba dive to enter the hotel, which has a wet room entrance area, two bedrooms and a common room ,which is a combination living room, dining area and kitchen.

The Ultimate Romantic Get-a-way
Underwater Wedding and Honeymoon Package

Weddings in Jules’ Underwater Lodge provide exclusive use of the Lodge for an intimate setting for both the wedding and honeymoon. Check-in time is at 1:00 pm, and check-out time is at 10:00 am. The couple earn their Aquanaut Certificates and qualify for an optional Underwater Habitat/Aquanaut specialty rating. Extended underwater honeymoons in the hotel are available.

Upon arrival to the world’s only underwater hotel, the wedding couple is greeted by romantic music and fresh flowers in every room. The ceremony is usually conducted at 3:00 pm by a notary public, who dives down for the nuptial service. A toast and the cutting of the cake follow the ceremony. Dinner offers a caviar appetizer, a choice of lobster or steak, a hearts of palm salad and dessert. The hotel “mer-chef” scuba dives to the hotel to prepare the meal and serve the newlyweds. The chef also prepares breakfast the following morning.

The total cost of the package, with the services of the notary public, flowers and a small wedding cake is $1,750.00 plus tax. There is an additional charge of $100.00 per person for extra guests attending the ceremony.

A vegetarian wedding?

Is it important that the bride and groom cater to their own needs when it comes to the meal being served at the reception, or, do they cater to the broader spectrum of needs of their wedding guests?

Some folks say that it’s important to cater to the guests. Others recommend that, since it’s their wedding day, that the wants of the bride and groom are paramount.

Here’s more on this topic.

What’s the most popular UK wedding music these days?

NME ( Music News) has compiled the most popular wedding songs for the UK. They write:

Aerosmith, Shania Twain among most popular!

Lonestar‘s 1999 song ‘Amazed’ (click below to hear it) is the most popular song choice for UK newly-weds’ first dances, it has been claimed.

According to PRS For Music, the UK music royalties collecting service, the ballad is the most-chosen for couples tying the not to kick off their wedding receptions – followed by Aerosmith‘s ‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’.

The third most popular choice was Shania Twain‘s ‘From This Moment On’. Fourth most popular was Bryan Adams‘Everything I Do (I Do It For You)’ then Take That‘s ‘Rule The World’.

The data was collected through a survey of 2,000 wedding videographers, who were asked which the most requested first songs at the weddings they attended were.

Source: http://www.nme.com/news/various-artists/46345

The curse of confetti.

You’ve just said “I do”.  The marriage ceremony is over.  Your guests are waiting for you outside as you exit through the church doors to greet your waiting guests for the first time as man and wife.

Now, if this was the ’70’s, you’d immediately be showered with confetti by all your friends and family, but confetti is just not done any more, for a number of different reasons:

~Consider who gets to clean up the paper mess after the ceremony is over.
~It’s almost impossible to get all the confetti off the church property and as a result, most churches say No!
~Throwing paper into the air kills trees and creates garbage  –   a no-no for today’s environmentally conscious generation.
~Those little paper circles just stick to you and NEVER LET GO!  You’ll be finding them for weeks.

But, by golly, somehow people just want to throw stuff into the air in the general direction of that bride and groom!  How to carry on the confetti-throwing tradition without throwing confetti?

Some people shower the newlyweds with rice.  Check with your church, because most don’t allow even this, for many the same reasons as they don’t want confetti.

Some people provide bubbles for their guests to blow.  Some set a flock of  doves loose  into the air to commemorate the wedding.  Both these are pretty standard tributes now.

Want something more imaginative?

Some people light sparklers or fireworks as the happy couple exit the church.  Hmmm.  Can be pricey and even dangerous.

Some people release butterflies into the air.  Do you know it costs about $10.00 per butterfly to do this??!!

The latest trend:  Throw dried lavender blossoms.  Lavender blossoms are really, really small, environmentally conscious, biodegradable, inexpensive, safe, and the good kind of smelly! You can get them from florists, nurseries or garden centers, or if you want to be really environmentally conscious, buy them from specialty food shops (yes, you can use lavender as an ingredient) as their flowers don’t have pesticides on them.

Make it count!

Believe it, expect it, and plan for it. You’re only getting married once.

It has to be a joyous day, for the bride and groom, and for all the guests.

The following video is how one couple decided to make their wedding a “bit” different. They did it their way. Memorable? Yes. For you? It’s up to you. Regardless of how you celebrate your special day though, Make It Count.

And Jill & Kevin and participants, whoever and wherever you are, thank you for this uplifting video. You made my day.

Your wedding & the planet!

If there are 2.5 million weddings in North America every year, what’s the number for the whole planet?

Is it possible to make each of these millions of weddings a little bit greener, thereby having a major positive impact on our planet? Kate Harrison thinks so.

The Green Bride Guide

The Green Bride Guide

Kate Harrison graduated with general and departmental honors from Vassar College in 2002 with an independent major in Environmental Conservation and Sustainable Development.

She writes “In the fall of 2006, when my husband, Barry, and I began
thinking about and planning our own green wedding, we
were surprised by how little information was available to assist
us. I read every book and article I could find on the topic
and spent hundreds of hours surfing online for green ideas,
supplies, and vendors. It was an extremely frustrating and laborious
process—but we were delighted with the results! To save
others from having to go through the trouble, I decided to
compile my efforts into this comprehensive resource—The
Green Bride Guide.”

A book who’s time has come? Here’s more information on the Green Bride Guide and,  here’s more information on wedding planning.