Planning a Wedding – Bursts of “Busy-ness”

Wedding planning should not be left to the faint of heart. Yes, it can be a huge amount of fun and extremely satisfying when all the plans start to jive, but a word of warning for those who haven’t done this before: there are times when you can coast and not have a thing to do regarding preparing for this wedding, and then there are times when nine gajillion things all need to be done at the same time! For example, when planning starts, the reception venue and the marriage ceremony venue have to be chosen at the same time that a rough guest list and budget need to be drawn. Sometimes this works out smoothly and at other times, well, at other times it would be handy to be able to be at 3 places at the same time.

After this initial burst of “busy-ness”, there are usually a few more to anticipate. We find that the bursts occur roughly at one year before the wedding, 6 months before, 6 weeks before, 3 weeks before, 10 days before and then every day from then till Wedding Day arrives. (Notice how they tend to get closer and closer together!)

Everything you need to know about planning a memorable, beautiful wedding can be found if you click here.

Enjoy the experience!

How to be a Good Wedding Guest

When you’ve been invited to a wedding, realize that a lot of people have been hard at work to make this celebration special for the bride and groom and also for their guests.  You have been invited because you mean something to the newlywed couple, so feel honoured and obey these few simple rules so that everyone has a good time:

1) Reply to the wedding invitation as soon as possible.  The people who are planning this event need to know how many people to expect so they can continue their preparations.

2) Read your invitation carefully so that you are aware of all the information the bride and groom have given you.  Your invitation will tell you about dress code, whether the bar is included or whether you will need to pay for your drinks, if you will have to find something to do between the ceremony and the reception…

3)  Do not show up late for the ceremony or reception or anywhere else you are asked to be  –  give yourself lots of time.

4)  If you are asked to give a toast or a speech, keep it really short (3-4 minutes tops) and have your speech written down in front of you for reference.

5)  If you are a relative of the bride, introduce yourself to people from the groom’s side (and vice versa) who you may be meeting for the first time.

6)  Monitor your alcohol intake so the wedding is remembered for how beautiful everything was and not for the person who made a fool of him/herself during the reception while way under the influence.

7)  When it’s time to go, say goodbye to the bride and groom as well as the people who hosted the wedding (typically, the parents of both).  Again, they’ve gone to a lot of work;  show them it’s appreciated.

Paying attention to these few “rules” will make the wedding more enjoyable for everyone.

For more information on wedding planning, click here.

A Wedding in the Family

It’s after 10:00 on Friday night and the phone rings, a really unusual event in our home. Our three children and the rest of the family know that a phone call after 9:30 or so at night sends not only our feet racing, but our hearts too. Late phone calls have spelled disaster in the past and we answer them with trepidation.

I pick up the phone. It’s our son’s girlfriend on the other end of the line. My first thought? “What’s happened to our son?” So I’m a little confused by the upbeat nature of her voice since I expect the news to be bad.

“Guess what?”, she asks in tones barely containing excitement. “We’re engaged!”

It only takes a split second for my mother’s thoughts to speed from “What? engaged in a horrible argument? Engaged in waiting for the triage nurse?” to “Holy somoli, my baby boy is getting married!”

As the details of the proposal come tripping out of this sweet woman’s mouth, my mind is already racing. There’s going to be another wedding in the family. We’re on the brink now, the very first step. Soon, our lives will be filled with the process of investigating, decision making, booking. Wedding invitations, church ceremonies, finding reception venues, who is going to be in the wedding party, pick a date, choose a wedding cake, a wedding gown, flowers, rings – these things will be part of our everyday lives for the next couple of years.

My son is getting married.

To find out how to get started planning your son or daughter’s wedding, click here.

Wedding venues – Grandma’s backyard

So, Mark and Sarah are planning their wedding and they have a limited wedding budget.  Sarah wants to wear her mother’s wedding dress and their wedding rings are heirlooms from great-grandparents.  In keeping with the family-oriented theme, these two would like to hold their marriage ceremony and wedding reception at Sarah’s grandmother’s country home.  Sarah has fond memories of holidays spent with Grandma at “the farm”, and everyone involved thinks this is a lovely idea.  What a gorgeous venue to hold a wedding – lots of space and gardens galore!  All we need to do is rent a tent to house the 100 guests.  This will mean so much to the couple.

This sounds beautiful, ideal!  Then, when investigations into making this happen start, reality takes hold.  Holding a wedding at a private home is not as easy or as inexpensive as it may seem.  Sarah and Mark found out that tent rental was about $2500 for an adequate size.  The  number of bathroom facilities were borderline for that number of people, so “portapotties” were needed.  So much for a formal wedding!  Permits were needed to be purchased from the township.  There was a parking issue, because the only space suitable to park that many cars efficiently required guests to drive over the septic bed and water line to get there – a no-no.  A temporary dance floor was needed.   They needed to get power from the house to the tent area.  Grandma is stressing because 100 people are going to be tramping through her house and maybe the whole house needs a fresh coat of paint before then, dearies?  Crews had to be hired to clean prior to and after the event.  A local caterer was found but more staff were needed to serve that many guests.  And what if it rains?!…

The list of problems and costs seemed to be endless.  Sarah and Mark found that it was easier and cheaper to book their wedding at a local banquet facility where all of these issues are dealt with by the employees.  They compromised and held Sarah’s bridal shower and the rehearsal dinner at Grandma’s farm and went there to have pictures taken in between the ceremony and the reception.  Problems solved.  Everybody is happy, as it should be.

Want some information on how to plan a perfect wedding?  Click here.

Wedding budgeting….difficult or not?

The bride and the groom may want it all. Why not? It’s one of their most important days.

Maybe 200 guests, wedding in the cathedral, fancy reception hall with a multi-course dinner, live chamber orchestra greeting guests at the reception, and dancing to a live band. All wonderful, all do-able, if you have the budget.

You have to get realistic, and stage your wedding in keeping with your budget. Can I make it easier for you? I’ve tried, with a budgeting chart which you can download here.

The budget sheet will be updated again shortly, so check back in a couple of weeks to get the latest copy.

Wedding invitations

When you are conceptualizing your wedding invitations, don’t just consider their beauty, or how they reflect your slant on life. By that I mean some folks pick hand made paper, add flowers etc., others are into the more traditional invitations, and still others go high tech.

Regardless of the style of wedding invitation, remember what they are for!

Not just to invite dear friends and family….but a road map telling them exactly what to expect for your wedding. More information? Just click here.

Delegate; one of the most important things for a successful wedding

The first thing you delegate is the overall management of your wedding. This person is the Planner, and she’s referred to in other blogs on this site.

Other things that can be delegated include the management of the photo process, someone to find the photographer, list the people who must be in the wedding photos, discuss venues with the bride and groom, and so on.

Many, many wedding planning and wedding day activities can be delegated. And you want to do so, as even Wonder Woman would find doing all of the wedding day tasks in one day all by herself beyond her superpowers. Here’s more info on delegating.

Investigate: another rule for planning the perfect wedding

You’re trying to plan the absolutely best wedding ever…and you’ve got a lot of decisions to make. Things like:

• where will you have the reception
• make a gown, buy a gown
• where to get wedding invitations
• bake or buy a wedding cake….and so on!

To make the planning and the wedding the best, you really need to do what I call “informal” and then “more formal” investigations.

The informal type are anecdotal…things that people will spontaneously tell you when they learn that a wedding’s afoot. The formal investigations are the ones where you are calling or visiting various venues and vendors to try and determine whether the item fits into your budget, and getting the best value for that wedding budget.

Here’s lots of info on how “investigate” is a part of every great wedding plan.

More rules for planning the perfect wedding.

As noted in an earlier blog entry, the first rule for planning a perfect wedding is to appoint a person-in-charge; a PLANNER.

I think that the next rule is to be realistic! You need to be realistic about the wedding budget, about giving yourself enough time to actually implement the wedding plan, consider all the members of the immediate and extended family where necessary, and take into account any religion-specific requirements of the bride, the groom, their parents, and the extended families.

Do all that, and then don’t forget about who’s most important in the whole process!

Need some guidance? I’m pleased to offer it here.

Some Basic Rules to start planning the perfect wedding!

There are some fundamental things that are always considered when planning a wedding. Here’s rule number one!

“Who Is In Charge”?

You must delegate one person to be the PLANNER of the wedding (even if it’s yourself) and it’s to this person that everyone else that’s contributing to the wedding “reports”.

Else, your best laid plans will end up in disarray. So, who’s in charge in your wedding? Decide on a person, ask them, and when you get someone to agree to take on this important task, empower them to make some decisions on your behalf if the PLANNER isn’t yourself.

Come back often to see how you can work with your PLANNER to make your wedding a success.